


Yandere Troll

by Yandere_Lemon (orphan_account)



Category: Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Humor, Parody, Troll - Freeform, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:56:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6370318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Yandere_Lemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I REGRET NOTHING! TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!</p><p>I DON'T OWN ATTACK ON TITAN!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Help me!", Reader-chan running like a shithead, with Captain Levi chasing her in circle with his shitting grin, while Eren and the others watching with amuse, eating popcorn and soft drinks at the training field.

"You're MINE, brat! I will kill anyone who stand our way!!!", Levi laughed evilly, still grinning, slashing the knife in the air. Reader-chan still crying like a waterfall, feeling hopeless and angry at the same time at the certain author (me) who just laughing her ass off writing this with no regret. 111!!!111!

Suddenly, Levi groped Reader-chan's big boob and Reader-chan screams, begging for mercy, which is Levi doesn't give a fuck and started to raep her. But with her cat-like reflexes, she claws Levi's cheeks with her oh so beautiful long fucking ass hair flowing with beauty in the air, she said, "I'll never be yours, Levi!", and she proceed to make guys go yandere mode on her.

Keith Sadis scowled, "This is bullshit! I'm going home!", and threw his hands up on the air like just don't care, ay, ay.

 

THE END!!!!111

THIS IS MY CRITIQUE OF BAD FANFICTION OUT THERE!!!


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't want to believe this! Marco...", Mary Sue trailed off, her oh so fucking beautiful pink eyes crying like waterfall, making Reiner go to dorm to get his speedo to surf on her tears that already flooded the mess hall lol.

Suddenly................Levi came in and all those tears came washing him, and he became tsun tsun for no reason. 111 Marco came in with only half of the body and began to drag himself to Mary Sue and calling her name, "Mary Sue, I will drag you with me to da Hell..........". "No!!!", Mary Sue rejected her boyfriend and kicked Marco right to da face. "But Mary Sue, my love, I want you. No one will have you, bitch!!!", and with speed of lightning, Marco grabbed Mary Sue's legs and dragged her like a boss.

Reiner, who was upset of no water for him to surf, sadly go back to his room to change his super tight speedo without knowing that Bertolt take a pic of his good looking ass (dat ass) and sell it to E-SHOP and makes fangirls bleed in happiness and wrote a yaoi or something.

THE END~!


	3. Lemon Time with Bertolt~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. I'm not sorry, Bert. lol

"Oh my Mary Sue, suck my dick~!",With that Mary Sue's eyes round as moon she saw Bertolt's 10 inch cock proudly standing in front of her pinkish eyes. 'Oh my gawd, t-that's huge, Bert-kun!!!", With that, Mary Sue tried to ran away but those chains on her oh so legs prevent her so.

"Don't run, Mary-chan~ Or else, I'll kill your fren......1111".  
"O-Okay then, I-I will suck your dick....ugh"

lol

So Bert banged Mary Sue so hard that she couldn't walk for a year and Mary Sue said Bert's 10 inch cock soooooo delicious.

THE END~!

U MAD BRO?


	4. Shouting Eyebrows

"MARY SUE, I LLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE YYYOOOUUU!!!", ERWIN SHOUTED ON TOP OF HIS LUNGS. MARY SUE SLEEPS LIKE PIG, AWOKE WHEN SHE HEARD HER COMMANDER SHOUTING AT WHOLE FEMALE DORM FOR NO REASON LOL.

"WHAT DA FUCK?!", MIKASA APPARENTLY ANGRY WITH ERWIN AND SHE THREW A BRA OF MARY SUE (WHICH IS PINK BRA....KAWAII DESU) RIGHT TO HIS FACE. "BULLSEYE!", YMIR RAISED HER FIST TO THE AIR. "OH~ IT'S MARY'S BRA...I'LL TAKE IT!!!!", SAID ERWIN TWIRLING LIKE A IDIOT HE IS, "AND MARY SUE, OF COURSE~", AND HE DRAGGED MARY SUE BY LEGS. MARY SUE CALLING FOR HELP BUT NO ONE GIVES A FUCK BECAUSE THE GIRLS ASLEEPS AND SAY BYE-BYE TO HER.

TL;DR: THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK TO OVER POWERED MARY SUE CREATED BY STUPID 12 YEARS OLD GIRLS OR SOMETHING. :/

THE END~!


	5. Chapter 5

"THE FUCK?!", Eren screamed like it was no tomorrow when he saw his girlfriend, (Y/N) make out with that certain short man, Levi with passion with Petra recording it with camera that came out of nowhere.

"Oh, it's Eren. Hi hubby!", (Y/N) greeted Eren with smile and Levi frowned because his sexy times with Cadet (Y/N) stopped just like that and Petra ran off, bringing tha camera with her so that she can show it at Oluo and tell him do those make outs exactly like that.

"You can just fUCKING 'HI' AT ME???!!!", Eren still scream.

"Uh yeah-"

"FUCK IT IM GONNA KILL ALLLLLLLLLLLLL TTTTTHHHHHHEEEEEE HHHHHUUUUUUMMMMMMAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN IIIIINNNNNN TTTTTHHHHIIIISSSS PPPPPPLLLLLLAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAUUUUTTTTHHHHOOORRRRRR FFFOOR MAKING MY LINE LONG WITH TIS CAPS LOCK!!!!##)/(;(-:#_)-()#9'9-(-8(", Eren bit his hand and KABBOOM! He became a Rogue Titan and destroy the Survey Corps with his karate techniques while he dancing dat ass with his song I Got Move Like a Yeager and Erwin won't stop shouting because he was chasing Mary Sue in circle and Mikasa and all cadets watching the destruction of the Survey Corps with 3D shades and popcorn and Coco Cola and laughing their ass off and Eren shuffling with his cool look derp.

Levi watching this whole scene with frown and raise his hands like he won't care, ay, ay and (Y/N) just lol.

THE END~!


	6. Horsey Jeanny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. Im not sorry and get ready some paper bag to puke.... ;)

"Ayy (y/n)-chan want som fuk????", Suddenly Jean The Horse Face come out of nowhere with his 6 inch cock proudly stood which make Armin scream girlish like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSAAGSGSGSGSHSSGDGRGJDHFDHJDGDSHGDDHHDHSDJEJUAGVJVJKKWATDAFUKJEANNYBOYAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAHHIMOUTTAHEERRRREEEEEEEEE", and proceed to run which he failed do so because Reiner ate him :)

"EHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!??!?!?!NO PLZ HALP ME EREN-KUN",(y/n) kissing Eren's 8 inch cock with her devoted look and Eren fabulously shove her away with furious model-like look, "Nay fuk u mary sue remember u make out with dat grumpy ca-er i mean cap'n?!?!? refer to chap 5 biatch" and zip his fly and run like a lunatic to get his 3D Maneuver Gear when he saw Bertolt became Colossal Titan twerking his ass off to make his fangirls jealous and flips the table while reading this shit and author being fucktard for not updating ssoooooooo looong. ;)

"neigghhhh yasssssssss i can fuk mary sue all day babeh!!!", Jean make some neighing sound and drag her ass to go somewhere else coz Levi hates cleaning sperm around his office last week. yuck author >:( >:( >:(

*1 sec later*

"omg jean yas yas yas jean make me cum"  
"scream mah name (y/n)!!2!1!1!2!2!2!!2!2!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJEEEEEEEAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!", (y/n) cums so much that all that place 80% of it covered by cums and Levi became more pissed and Eren proceed to beat the shit out of Yandere_Lemon.

THE END~!


	7. Armin The Singing Opera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Armin loves to scream and sing at the same time. ehhh
> 
> Merry Christmas people

"LALALALALALAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH", Armin dancing like a idiot and 'accidently' bumps with (y/n). Both of them fall each other and (y/n) was like "watch it gurl" and Armin was like "omg woman u so beautiful marry me gurl" and kissess her lips.

SUddenly,,,,, Eren came in with his bad boy attitude riding back of Jean Kirstein liek a boss as he totally made Jean his biatch and Jean let out neigh and Levi say "Hello motherfucker" with his cute lwittle vwoice and kick a random Military Police who was passing by. Mikasa became kung fu master and fight with Levi only to equally even bruh.

"Emm sori Armout-kun but watashi couldn't marry u coz anta wa is gurl..."(y/n) was sooooooooo embarassed that she would wish she is blood bender (geddit?) and run with slow motion when Hanji was like "WAT DA FUKKK?????" LOOK ON HER face and started to rants y da fuk she even say that in the first place.

Armin was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo heartbroken that suddenly he became yandere lol. He express it with oh so dramatic

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWHY??!?!????????!!!!!?????", and surprising enough he didn't damage his vocal cord. (y/n) was sooo shocked to death that she was liek wtf and her eyes round like a MOON OR UFO OR WATEVER when Armin took out the knife from his back and started to chase (y/n) in square. Levi simply watch it because he hates when this plot same as chap 1 but who give a fuck anyway???

Then Armin caught Mary Sue and Kiss her and have sex....err....Levi just ran off and Mikasa just watch it with 3D shades and Eren and Jean suck cock each other and Mikasa kick both of their ass because she doesn't want Eren and Jean become star of this chap.

Armin was like "anta was was mine 4ever and 4ever and 4ever and 4ever and---"

"shadupp u wierd gurl!!! we wanna see eren x jean in action!!!" a random yaoi fangirl appear out of nowhere with bleeding nose and ran off to teleport device and Armin dragged mary sue to his room and u will not c sunlight again..

THE END~!

P.S. This fanfiction so bad that this shit is weird and sounds like My Immortal fanfic, if not already.


	8. Get REKT, BITCHES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunky bulky Reiner is here!!!

"Look at my fabulous muscle woman", Reiner shows off his muscles that Armout puke endlessly in the Survey Corps and Erwin was like "Fuck this shit, my eyebrows was stronger than him". And Reiner wuz leik "oh rly? how strong it is u crazy shouter?!?!?!"

"My eyebrows can lift up 1000000000000001 women in 1 sec bruh" erwin grinning liek iodiot. "holy sheetu reiner thou musth win tis competition by becoming yandere for Mary Sue bruh" Bert exclamined with eyes like UFO sauce. haha

"OK bert i will" reiner say with confident.

 

*ONE MILISECOND LATER*

"Welcome to the Krusty Kr----oops wrong fanfic"

"Ok welcome to da Eyebrows Bars how salty are u???" Levi say with boring voice

"hey shorty lemme in u grumpy kat", reiner yells. "okay that its!!!!! kung fu kick on da groin!!!!", levi kick reiner right in the middle with powerful Ackerman holy shit man that sick!

"ouch" reiner say and go in the bars and spotted erwin drinking and Bathing with his hoe.

*cliffhangers!!!*

lol

THE END~?


	9. GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holy shit who will win on this death battle?111 reiner or erwin?!?!?

"Aight, Eyebrow, let's fight!!!!!!" Weiner say with fist. "k" say erwin

*one millisecond laterz*

"They see me rollin', they hatin'", Levi sung coz i told him so. "aw naw biatch, i has swag and moar awesome than u", Levi fabulously complains. "Hey, don't steal mah awesome words, shorty!!!!!!111", Prussia came out from nowhere. "Da fuq?" Levi is a sassy fucker.

"uh, levi"  
"yea, reader?"  
"who's win?"  
"who's win what???!"  
"err weiner and erwin???"  
"oh dat. I AM THE CHAMPION"  
"y u say dat?"  
"coz u fangirls will always loves me moar than both tho"  
"oh i c"

"tch im outta here. PEACE!!!!!!11112"

THE END~!


	10. Connie Donny

"Ayy Connie my man", Sasha greeted her fren with her mouth full of potatoes!!!!!!

"err" Connie wuz liek wtf on his face.

"lalalala i am prettiest woman in da world plz luv meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!1111", suddenly Mary F.(ucking) Sue sung da forbidden song and Connie fell in love with this biatch. haha sucker

"omg sasha who is dat gurl????", his mouth fell on the floor. "mary f. sue. y u ask coonie???", sasha still eating liek it was no tomorrow and suddenly mary sue blew her fart on connie face and connie became yandere for no reason and he kill sasha and he kidnap mary sue and kiss her and marry that cursed woman and have 100000001 children coz mary sue pussy is so strong as fuck and all their kids so handsome amd beautiful and grew up so quickly liek 1 millisecond coz mary sue wuz neko princess who has magic to make all her kids grew up and gave her strong pussy and then she died coz Hater kill her and Connie liek fuck this shit im going to kill titans so bye slut

THE END~!


	11. Really, Reiner?

"k erwin i will defeat u!!!!!!!!"

"k" erwin don't give a shat about it coz he think he was hot shit or somethin' and unleash his power of doom which issssssssssssssss.............1111111!!!!!!!!

 

"THE EYEBROWS LASER!!!!!!!11111"

"holy sheetu weiner watch out!!!!!" bert use his Sweat power to put out the laser at the Erwin

"FUCK!"

"NOW, WEINER!!!!"

"MAH NAME IZ REINER U DUMBASS BUT WATEVER!!!!" Reiner wuz leik "KUNG FU FIGHTING"

And he defeated Erwin.

:)

THE END~!


	12. THE END~!

Well, I'm gonna end this story because I want to continue my OHSHC fanfic called "Dark Delicates" but honestly I have fun writing this shitty troll as fuck but eh, I'm gonna do the request bruh.

See you in the Dark Delicates, readers.

Oh, thank you for reading this shit fanfic.

EREN: Omg bye  
LEVI:........ No  
ERWIN: GOODBYE!!!!!!!?1111111111111  
BERTOLT: um bye  
REINER/WEINER: See ya!  
MARCO: OK bye bye my gurl  
ARMIN: AHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGHJDJFTSTFHFGZTXHCHXIGZYDHC IF HXFZT bye  
CONNIE: BYE!

JEAN: NEIGH k bye


End file.
